


Our Undisclosed Desires

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:01:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Smut, as promised. Happy New Year!</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Jean, are you sure you packed everything?"

I sighed. No matter how many times I answered this question, my mother persisted in asking it. I ignored the fact that she was usually right, and I had more often than not forgotten at least one thing, and nodded at her. 

"You're going to university! I can remember when you were just a baby!"

Oh really, mum? You can remember when I was a baby? Because, from what I remember, you were never there for me as a kid. I spent more time with my uncle than I did with my parents, but I suppose that's to be expected when my mum and dad run the worldwide company Kirschtein Inc. I still don't know what their company does, something to do with stocks and shares apparently, but honestly I couldn't give less of a fuck as long as it keeps paying me through university. Nevertheless, I can hardly blame my parents for making me live with my bastard uncle for three years when they were doing their best to fund me through life. Their business has paid for my accommodation and studying at Trost University upfront, as well as the cost of my plane ticket from France to Boston.

Despite wanting to escape from their clutches as soon as I could, I let my parents drive me to the airport. I was determined, for their sake, to keep up my masquerade of being their little boy just until I got onto the plane, and then I would allow myself to become the complete different person I could once only dream of being. Waving goodbye with painted tears in my eyes, I walked through the terminal and boarded the plane, taking my seat and closing my eyes.

There was a lot for me to think about in that moment, but all I really wanted to do was sleep. I had a long flight ahead, and decided to sort out the abundance of chaotic thoughts in my mind before letting myself rest. First, and foremost, I wanted to completely reinvent myself. No longer would I be Jean Kirschtein, the spoilt rich kid. The absence of my parents meant the absence of that god awful stereotype I had plastered on me wherever I went. I didn't want to be known for my money before I was known for myself, yet sadly that seemed to be the case for the entirety of my life. I wanted to be someone new; someone different to who I had previously been. University was my excuse to get completely and totally pissed every night and, who knows, maybe even get laid. I'd had sex before, but never anything that had been particularly noteworthy. Usually it was just casual fucks in the upstairs bedroom of some poor party host, with a girl I'd only acquainted with that night. No, in university I would change my entire outlook on sex completely. In fact, maybe that's the kind of person I'd like to be. Someone flirtatious, and undeniably teeming with sex appeal. Yeah, I'd like to be that guy. 

Lying back on my seat, the last thought that crossed my mind before I fell asleep was that I was determined to have a mind-blowing fuck within my first week at Trost.

When I arrived, I got a taxi straight to the car firm where a car was waiting for me. My parents had paid for one so I could get around easily, and I was thankful for that, but I wished I'd told them not to. I love the fact that they buy my things, but it seems a lot like I was raised by money in the absence of real parental influence. Nevertheless, the car was good, and drove smoothly, so I could hardly complain. I arrived on campus at 7pm, filled with jet lag but with no intention to sleep. Instead, I got the keys to Room 517 in Rose and went to see my new room. It was small, but at least I wasn't sharing it with anyone. I'd have hated to have a roommate, it would feel like an invasion of privacy in my opinion, and so I was glad to have been assigned a room on my own. Normally, I would have unpacked my things before doing anything else, but my new self was a person who could let loose a lot more than originally, and so I decided to go to one of the parties on campus. I knew there was one about to start in an hour over at a house in Sina, and thought that it was the perfect opportunity to get absolutely pissed and christen this university with a good night out.

I took a shower, staying in there for a lot longer than necessary, letting the water run down my sore back. I was practically falling asleep stood up and so I decided to get out before I slipped and broke my leg or something. Drying my hair, I threw on a clean shirt with some jeans, and headed out. Arriving at the party was my first challenge with being the 'new me'. I had to be confident and collected, and walk in with a calm aura. Doing so felt strange, but I managed it anyhow and got myself a drink. 

Seeing a group of people, I thought now would be a better time than ever to make some friends. Downing a shot for confidence, I walked over to them, unsure of how to start a conversation. One of the people was a girl, with mid length black hair that practically shone in the lowlight of the room. She was pretty, and I thought that introducing myself to her would be a possible way to get laid.

"Hey." I said, trying to appear worldly and intriguing.

"Hello." She replied, albeit coldly. This knocked my confidence a little and I stumbled over my next sentence.

"I'm..my name…I'm Jean."

"Mikasa, nice to meet you."

Then, a boy with dark hair came up to stand beside Mikasa. 

"Who are you?" He asked.

Shit. Maybe these people weren't the best kind to approach. Not wanting to walk off now, I decided to be cocky and confident as I wanted to try and mirror the impression I was getting from Mikasa and her friend.

"I'm Jean. Who are you?"

"Eren. Eren Jaeger."

A flash of inspiration flew through my mind. In hindsight, it was a terrible line and an even worse idea, but I said it anyway.

"So how much Jäger can you drink, Jaeger?"

Ten minutes later, we were both sat on a sofa with a tray full of shots in between us. As it turns out, we were just as stubborn as each other, and none of us wanted to be the first to give in. An uncountable amount of shots ensued, and the rest of the night was a blur. I faintly remember being violently sick in something that I hope to god was a toilet and my last coherent thought being that I wasn't going to get laid after all.

At 5am, I found myself on the floor of a room. Looking up to the bed, I saw a couple I didn't know passionately making out- completely naked. Taking this as my cue to leave, with an awkward thumbs up towards the couple, I dragged myself out of the door of the house. The morning air hit me moments before my painfully crippling hangover did, and I only just managed to make it back to Rose. I fumbled with my key for a good five minutes, thinking that I'd be locked out forever, when someone approached me from behind. He opened the door and held it out for me to walk in. Looking up, I saw that it was a boy with dark black hair and freckles across his face. He looked younger than me, although he was probably the same age, but nevertheless he had a childish innocence written in his smile. It was unnatural to be up this early, I thought. He was moving in to his room, which explained the boxes of things in his arms. In my clumsy, still slightly drunk state, I managed to knock one of these boxes onto the floor.

"Shit." I mumbled and bent down to pick up his things. 

"It's alright. I've got it." He said, not seeming mad at all that a pissed university student had just possibly broken whatever the contents of the box were. Taking his word for it, I made it back to my room half-alive, and collapsed onto the bed to sleep all day and prepare myself, both physically and mentally, for round two the next night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, as promised. Happy New Year!

When I woke up, I was unsure of exactly where I was hurting. Rather than have localised pain in one area of my body, my entire being felt like it had been dragged from the back of a car across the highway. But I didn't let something as simple as that stop me, and thought that two painkillers and a lot of vodka would soon sort me out. It was already evening when I finally dragged myself out of my still unmade bed, and the first thing I did was shower. Knowing that there was another party, this time in Maria, motivated me to actually get ready. I didn't want to miss any of the big welcoming parties at Trost, and this was apparently going to be one of the biggest, so I forced myself to dry my hair and put on some nice aftershave. Hopefully I'd learnt from my mistakes last night and now knew not to challenge the first guy I saw to a drinking contest, because I had only six days left to keep my resolution of getting the best fuck of my life within a week at university. 

The party itself started at nine, and I arrived at nine thirty, wanting to turn my blood to alcohol as quickly as possible to blur out the dull ache of my still present hangover. The music that blared through the house made my ears ring and my head throb, so I grabbed a drink and headed to the back room where it was quieter. Across the room, I could see another guy standing on his own. I recognised him from somewhere, although I couldn't fathom where. Racking my brain for a few minutes, I came to the final conclusion that he was the boy from 5am who held open the door for me and didn't mind when I practically broke all of his things. Seeing him stood there, drink in hand yet talking to nobody, gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. It was the closest I've been to attraction, but that couldn't be right, could it? I mean, he was a boy, and I was a boy, and I certainly wasn't gay. Not as far as I knew anyway; because the only people I'd ever fucked or had the desire to fuck were definitely female. However, I couldn't deny nor ignore the inexplicable feeling of arousal when I looked at him casually biting his lip like his entire aim in this room was to turn me on, and I thought that the only way to rid myself of this feeling was to talk to him. So I walked over to him, unaware of what I was going to say or do when he saw me coming. His head turned directly towards me. Fuck.

"Um, hi. I'm Jean. I saw you last night, well, this morning. I'm sorry for knocking your stuff over, I was really drunk." 

"I'm Marco. And really, don't be sorry, there were only a few DVDs and clothes in that box, nothing was broken."

Fuck. He was so nice. I know my old English teacher would have strung me from a tree if she found me using a word as simple as that, but it was the only way to describe the simplistic kindness I could tell was an inherent part of Marco's personality. He bit his lip again. Alright, nice and absolutely sexy at the same time. I wanted to mirror the signals he was giving me, if they could even be classed as signals and not just little absentminded body movements, so I leant against the wall.

"You know, this was supposed to be the best party yet, but I think it's pretty shit to be honest." I wanted to seem like I was too good for this.

"I agree." He said, looking me directly in the eyes. "Although I'm biased, I normally dislike parties anyway."

In that instant, with the faint beat of the music from another room echoing in my ears, and the alcohol being the main influence in my brain, I did something I only should have done if I fully planned to follow through. I kissed him. It took him completely by surprise but he moved into the kiss the same way I did; with passion and vigour. Although our lips touched with equal force, he seemed more gentle whereas I was rough. It was like I was channeling all my emotion and built up anger into the collision, and he was the shockwave absorbing it all from me, and making me feel okay for one of the first times in my life. My hands found their way up to his hair, removing the neat parting in it with a jagged grip onto the roots. I was passionate and I wanted to be fulfilled. 

"Should we," I broke away from the kiss to speak breathlessly. "Should we go somewhere private?"

He nodded, kissing me again with the gentle touch that my lips now craved. "Your room or mine?" 

"Yours." I replied, because having sex in my room would make it personal. And the one thing that this was specifically not was personal. How could it be personal, I wasn't even gay? Yeah, that's right, it's a one time platonic fuck and then I'm going to cut all contact with this bastard, I thought.

He led me out of the house and back to the front entrance of Rose, where we entered together and walked up a few flights of stairs. I just wanted to get to his room as quickly as possible because the growing warmness in my pants, which were too tight for the occasion, made me want to strip naked and fuck him on the staircase. We arrived after what seemed like centuries although was probably actually only minutes, and he led me inside. 

"Ah, fuck, Marco I need you now." I just wanted to do something- anything- that would make this boy moan my name. I wanted to hear how it sounded coming from between his perfectly formed lips.

"Wait, Jean. I've never…done this before."

"You're a virgin? If you think I mind, I don't."

"Thanks, Jean."

Thanks. He fucking thanked me for not minding that he was a virgin. I was about to think he was cute but then I realised that I couldn't get too personal seeing as I planned on cutting all contact with him after this one night.

I walked over to him so that there was practically no space in-between our bodies, and ran my hands down his chest to his pants. Unbuttoning them, I hooked my thumbs by his hips and dropped them to the floor. I threw myself at him, wanting him all over me in every possible place as soon as I could. In his bedroom, I saw that everything was unpacked and neat. He reached for his shirt and took it off, watching as I did the same. He was completely desirable in an innocent way, the way he looked down my body as though I was something to be admired. In all honesty, it felt good to feel so wanted. When we both stood there, completely naked, he blushed bright red.

"Do you, uh, need any lube or anything? I don't know how to do this, but I have some."

I smirked at him, liking the feeling of being dominant and in control. "I'll need it, but later. I intend to build you up for the best fuck of your lifetime."

"The only fuck of my lifetime, so far." He giggled. 

I mentally scolded myself for thinking he was adorable and then got onto my knees. Something about the fact that he was inexperienced and innocent made me want to satisfy him instead of him satisfying me. His cock was already erect and practically throbbing to be touched, and I complied with his so obvious wishes. Running my tongue over the tip of his dick, I wanted to make him beg for more. As I moved my mouth further down, beginning to please him endlessly, Marco gripped my shoulders with his hands. Each movement of my tongue brought with it a shockwave through his body and I felt his fingernails grip my shoulders a little harder each time. A moan escaped his lips that vaguely resembled my name, which he tried to bite back and stifle. I sucked harder to let him know that moaning was good, because for some reason I wanted to hear him moan more than anything.

I was in the full swing of sucking his dick now, and I was enjoying it as much as he was. Knowing that my shoulders and arms would be marked with bruises tomorrow, I carried on nevertheless until he came a little in my mouth. I finished off with a tender lick down his shaft, and was greeted with a groan of "J-Jean" from Marco.

I finished, and we both wanted more. I had never been one to finish early, and intended to prolong this desirable evening for a while, but not too long. I pushed him backwards, making him fall onto the bed in a defensive yet open position. With one leg either side of him, I pinned him down, making him unable to move his arms. I wasn't really sure of what to do because I'd never had sex with a guy before, but I assumed that I'd touch him a lot and, if he moaned, I'd know I was doing it right. 

Working my way up his chest with my hands, I let my fingers slide over his nipples. Tracing them with my very fingertips, I saw him bite his lip and close his eyes, leaning his head back into the pillow as he entered a euphoric state. Good, that seemed to be working. I moved my mouth towards his stomach and drew a line with my tongue up from the bottom of his chest to the top. Working my tongue over his nipples, I let him make all the noises he wanted. In fact, I wanted more. I wanted to hear him moan so loud it would wake everybody up, I wanted to hear what my name sounded like when spoke in breathless tones on the heels of an orgasm. I sucked and licked at his nipples, occasionally using my teeth too because I liked the noise he made when he sucked in a breath of air through gritted teeth. Once my erect cock could bear no more waiting, I sat back on his chest and said,

"I'm going to need that lube now."

He pointed to the first drawer, unable to speak coherently. I reached in and found it, putting what I thought was the necessary amount onto my fingers. 

"Bend over the bed." I commanded him, feeling like I owned him for the night. He was so polite, and obeyed what I said, and I took advantage of this. Besides, I didn't want to see his face when we were fucking, because this wasn't personal. I slipped one of my fingers into his asshole, noting how tight it was. Well, obviously, he was a virgin. I pulled it in and out in a variety of ways, hitting a spot more than once that made Marco gasp in pleasure and grip the sheets he was holding. Progressing to two fingers, I widened him a little to prepare him for my already erect cock. As much as I wanted to cut contact with him, I didn't want to hurt him, and therefore made sure he was fully prepped before even thinking about going in. 

"Are you ready, Marco?" I asked. 

"Mhm, yes just-give it to me now." He replied in between moans. He was loud, and I liked that.

Lubing up my dick so that it was alright to go in, I entered him and was greeted by a gasp of pleasure. I moaned too, our sounds of pleasure colliding in the air as I ground my hips a little. He held the sheets so tight that I thought he would rip through them, and pushed back against my cock. I liked that, I liked it a lot, and my groans confirmed this. 

"M-Marco…shit I-" My sentence was cut off by a deep, throaty moan. Obviously I had hit a spot that gave Marco sparks through his entire body. Bringing myself back, I pushed again, hearing the same noise as he rolled his hips. 

"Do you like that?" I asked. He was too full of pleasure to reply, but I persisted in talking to him.

"Should I push my cock further, hit that spot again?"

"Mhm, yes…please."

He was still so polite even now. I wanted to give him the best sex he would ever have, and so pulled back before thrusting again and hearing him moan the loudest he had all night. I was going to come, but didn't know if he wanted me to.

"Can I- fuck- can I come?" I breathed.

"Yes. Please- please do. I want it."

Letting myself come, I heard moans escape my own lips. French swear words decorated the air, and I hated myself a little because French reminded me of home, and that was the one place I didn't want to think of when on the brink of an orgasm. As I came, Marco rolled his hips again, sending sparks of electricity through my body and making me moan even more. I climaxed, practically screaming with pleasure. My cock hit a perfect spot inside Marco and he came a little too, touching his cock as I ground my hips again. We rode out our orgasms in unison, a myriad of sounds filling the air and marking it with our presence. I finished on a complete high and lay next to Marco.

If there was one thing that this could not turn to, it was domestic. As much as I loved that fuck, I had no desire to wake up the next morning in this bed, and so when Marco went to shower, I snuck out without leaving a note or explanation as to why I'd just left. The party was still going on, but I didn't feel like going for the rest of it, and so I walked up a flight of stairs, entering my room and lying in bed trying to think of anything but Marco, but the only thoughts going through my mind were how awful I was as a person, and the way Marco moaned my name.


End file.
